Doctor Freud’s Burlesque Show #2 – Insanity Is Contagious

Johnny Aces was making us all nuts. He was going off on weird theories and presenting them as true axioms,”As men we have to teach women how to become dirty. It is our responsibility to open them up to every degenerate idea of how to become dirty. They should be there to help us get laid with other women. They should lure home other women for us. In fact, our responsibility to the community of men, is to make them all scumbags.”
“I think we all are scumbags, anyway,”I said.
“We could do more, much more.”
Schlomo said,”Why don’t we give a tour on how to become a bigger better scumbag in New York City.”
Johnny and I looked at each other,”That would be a great money maker,” I said.
“We could tour men around and Johnny can introduce men how to pick up ladies, in bars, on the street, in the Pharmacy, by the fruit stand. Everywhere.”
“I could do that. We need a buffer.”
“A buffer?”
“Yeah, not everybody is as big a scumbag as me. It takes alot of work to be able to pick up women the way I do. It takes effort, and time. We need to hire prostitutes to be where the tour is and make sure that the lame ass men who do this tour will feel like they actually picked up the women. “
“Wait, so now the Tour is going to involve Prostitutes?” Schlomo asked.
“No, Escorts.”
“How do the Escorts get paid?”
“It’s built into the price of the tour.”
Schlomo and I looked at each other.
“It could work,” I said.
“It would be a mitzvah that we would be doing for the schlubs of America. In fact, I would want to be on that tour.