Menage A Trois A La Mode -Chapter 16 – Sing It Brother

“I come before this assembly to bring you my truth. There are many people here and my truth may offend some. So, I have brought my personal Bartender here today, and for one day only, he has agreed to mix drinks for the general public.”
Sam waved to the people from the side of the auditorium. He wore his apron. His walrus moustache bristled with anticipation. He looked like a man getting ready for a Hurricane. In fact, he planned on mixing Hurricanes for this event. He hardly ever mixed sweet drinks,”Sweet drinks of alcohol are for children,” he would say.
I greatly appreciate everybody showing up for the first Murder Tour Incorporated meeting of potential killers.”
That got a laugh from the audience.
I am not here to distract you from your lives. I am here to tell you why people kill and why you are fascinated with them… The first thing I would like to do is irritate you… Serial Murderers are dopes. You are interested in them because they distract you from the misery of your own life.”
Groans from the crowd.
Schlomo ran to Sam who fixed him a Hurricane.
I knew he was thinking that there might be a riot. I knew that he was thinking that I was going to ruin our growing thriving business.
I was flushing out a Serial Killer or something.
I use you all. I make money off of dumb fuckers who think they are movie stars because the murders they commit end up on the front page of newspapers…
I saw a bunch of my staff at Murder Tours Incorporated. Donna the Secretary, Ken the Sales pusher, and Johnny Aces were all having cocktails.
And I am here to tell you something else. Serial Killers are dumb. There has never been an intelligent one.
The line for the Hurricane beverage was growing. Sam was holding down the fort till I lashed out,”Silence Of The Lambs is the dumbest fucking movie ever.”
People were making their way to the exits, or clamoring Sam to make his drinks faster. Schlomo ran up to the stage and grabbed the microphone away from me,”My partner is trying to make a point. He is under a great deal of stress having been himself been trapped and released by “The Tattoo Ripper.”
People oowed and awwed and returned to his seat.
“He is also in the middle of a strange relationship with his wife and girlfriend. They have fallen in love with each other.”
A young geeky voice from the crowd,” Are you jealous about your wife and girlfriend spending so much time together.”
I grabbed the microphone back from Schlomo,”Nah, I’m not jealous, I just prefer it if someone were sucking my cock.”
Laughs from the audience. I had them sitting back down with their cocktails. I had French people nodding and the Germans shaking their heads. They looked like a bunch of knick knack nodders on top of a refridgerator door